You Don't Understand
by Half Demon Alchemist
Summary: No one understands. Everyone gives up before they even try to know. Not even Alphonse understands. So Ed doesn't bother to try and make people understand. But Roy wants to. Roy cares. Roy wants to understand. But, will Ed let him? Rated T for language. Parental! RoyEd
1. You Can't Understand

**Disclaimer: I don't own FMA**

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**Chapter One:**

_You Can't Understand_

Roy doesn't understand and he never will. Ed knows that as a fact. It can't be helped. No one understands him, or what he's been through. Not even Alphonse. But Ed's tired of people pretending they understand what he's been through.

They haven't. And they won't. He can accept that. It's _his_ burden, they don't need to understand it. So they won't.

Most people don't even try. Or if they do try, they give up before they can make any progress.

The blonde can't help the fact that he doesn't spill his life secrets to everyone he meet whenever they ask. If he did that, he'd be dead by now.

So here he is, in front of Colonel Bastard's office, on a _personal_ summons. Whatever the hell that means. So, since it's _oh so personal,_ Edward left Al at the dorms. No sense dragging him here too, when he'd just have to wait for him.

Ed kicks open the door, as tradition. The subordinates look up, even though they know who it is.

He doesn't know why, but today the fact that nobody's there for him, nobody _understands,_ is bothering the young prodigy a lot more then usual. And he doesn't like it. Not one bit.

"Ah, Fullmetal how nice of you to come." Roy says from behind his desk without looking up.

"It's your fault I'm here in the first place, you damn bastard."

Roy looks up from the paperwork he was doodling on and smirks. Damn. Ed hated that smirk. "Well, Fullmetal I do believe you should _grow_ up and stop complaining. But I guess I should expect it seeing as you have such a _short_ temper."

"WHO THE HELL ARE YOU CALLING SO SMALL THAT AN ANT WOULD NEED A TELESCOPE TO SEE HIM?!"

The smirk grew. "Why, you of course, Fullmetal. I don't see any other tiny alchemists in my office."

"Damn you! What did you want me in here for anyway, bastard?"

The damned smirk turned into a frown. "I want to know whats bothering you, Fullmetal."

Ed blinked in surprise. _'That was it? He just wanted to know what was wrong with me? What the hell? It's not like he actually cares.' _Ed thought angrily to himself.

"Nothings wrong" Fullmetal spoke scowling. "Can I go?"

"No. I know thats not the truth, so I _order_ you to tell me whats wrong."

He was momentarily stunned into silence. _'That bastard thinks he can just order me to tell him whats wrong? No. Way. In. Hell.'_

"Nothings wrong _sir_" Ed said mockingly.

_'Oh... looks like Mustang doesn't appreciate mockery... He was glaring at me. If looks could kill... damn... I'd be six feet under already.'_

"Here I am, taking my own personal time to find out what's wrong-" Roy's voice was monotone, but a bit of anger slipped through "-So I can make you feel better, because I _care, _and you're shutting me out."

Ed laughed. He actually laughed. Roy wore a brief look of confusion before making his face become impassive. When the teens laughter died down he finally spoke.

"_Care? _Care? Oh that's rich Colonel." Ed's voice full of venom and sarcasm. "_You_? Care about _me?_ What's next? Are you going to offer to tuck me in to bed? I'm sure one day you will care about me... When Havoc gets a wife and Hawkeye starts handing out heart shaped chocolates."

He stayed silent as the blonde continued "You just don't understand! You'll never understand. No one will _ever_ understand how I feel. And no one cares enough to try."

He didn't stay silent much longer after. "Fullmetal- I do understand."

Ed's temper flared "NO YOU DON'T AND YOU DON'T CARE SO STOP PRETENDING YOU DO!"

Roy remanded calm "If you don't think I understand, then why don't you make me understand?"

The teen thought before replying "I've tried to make people understand. They never do. They just don't care enough. So... I don't bother anymore."

Roy lowered his head and shook it- as if he was disappointed. He sighed loudly "Fullmetal, oh Fullmetal."

"Huh?"

He looked down and straight into the angry golden eyes. Obsidian orbs gazing into his own. "Edward, Edward... I thought you would have realized before that I'm different from other people and really, I actually _do_ care about you, believe it or not."

"Not."

"What does that mean, Edward?"

He sighed softly. "You said 'believe it or not.' And I choose not."

He looked almost sad. "Why?"

The question took Ed aback... _'Why? Why wouldn't I believe that he does care about me? He's shown it on enough occasions, and he just came right out and said it... so why?'_

Before Ed could stop himself he explained.

"Two reasons, Roy." He looked surprised the Ed used his first name, but the teen prodigy continued anyway "One, Hohenheim left us. He said he cared, hell he said he _loved _us. And he still left..." he paused "...And the other reason is... Everyone who cares about me... Or I care about... Always gets hurt..." He looked puzzled so Ed decided to give examples. Even though he didn't ask. "Nina, Hughes, _Al_ and... and _Mom_." and the now sad teen whispered, not knowing if Roy would hear "So... I'd hate it if you got hurt cause of me too..."

He looked shocked at Edward's explanation. Ed couldn't blame him. He doubted Roy was even expecting a answer. Ed's golden eyes were shining with unshed tears. And he made my way to the door. But before Ed could open the door.. There was a weight on his wrist and he was pulled and turned backwards, his head in someones chest. With there arms wrapped around the golden boy in a tight embrace.

Ed was honestly shocked. And he spoke in a whisper "R-Roy..."

"Ed, can I understand? Can you let me understand?"

Ed spoke honestly. "You- You can't understand."

**Chapter Two coming soon!**

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	2. But I Can Try

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**Chapter Two:**

_But I Can Try_

Roy embraced the teen tightly. Upon hearing his name he started talking "Ed- your right, I don't understand. So, why don't you help me? I promise I'm not like your father... And-" Roy smirked, even though the blonde couldn't see it "I _am_ The Flame Alchemist; Colonel Roy Mustang. Did you forget? Nothing can hurt me."

Ed choked back a laugh "Besides Lieutenant Hawkeye" He could hear the smirk in Roy's voice disappear.

"She doesn't count. But right now, this is about you not Riza."

Ed sighed. He pushed away from Roy, just enough to look up into the coal orbs. "P-Promise you won't abandon me after I tell you?"

Roy's eyes widened. The helplessness, the fear evident in the small blondes voice was heart wrenching for Roy. As a father, or uh- father figure, he needed to do what was best for Ed. So he put on a smile, not a smirk, a smile and looked down at the teen. "Of course I won't leave you. Promise."

The answer seemed to satisfy the teen enough for he sighed and mumbled okay, then burrowed his blonde head into Roy's chest again. To say Roy was shocked at the movements of the teen, would be an understatement.

'_Ed's practically cuddling with me. Not that I mind but...He must have really been worrying. He must have really been lonely.' _With the thought Roy tightened his hold on the fifteen year old.

"Fullm- Edward. Whenever you're ready to explain things to me. I'm ready." The Colonel spoke in a calm soothing voice. A voice that was foreign to his own ears. He didn't even think he could sound like that.

The boy in question pushed his head away from the older mans chest again. He spoke soft, like a lost child _'Which I guess he is...' _Roy mused before Edward spoke "I-I'll tell you. Just- Just-" He sounded on the verge of tears. "-Just hold me a little longer. I-I haven't been held by someone in a- a long time..."

Roy's heart felt like it would break. The older man pulled the teen to his chest once more. _'I never would have thought that the brave, tough, arrogant, Fullmetal Alchemist could be reduced to a quivering child. But as long as I'm the one he tells. I want to understand.'_

They stayed like that for a couple minutes. When Roy noticed Ed's hold slacking, he made his arms loosen too. Edward pulled away completely and walked to the black leather couch and sat on the end. Roy followed suit and sat next to him.

Ed hated how weak his voice sounded, but when he realized the Colonel didn't mind, and wouldn't judge him. He allowed himself to sound and feel, not to mention look weak. Just this once. He spoke softly, but loud enough for the man beside him to hear. "What do you want to know first?"

Roy pondered this for a moment. He wanted to know everything, but what did he want to know _first? _It was a tough question indeed. But after another moment he found his first question. "Why do you shut everyone out, And not accept their help?"

Ed didn't even hesitate before stating "I shut them out, because I'm _afraid_ that once they know everything about me, they'll shut me out. Or think less of me. And if I don't let them get close in the first place, they can't end up hurting me... I don't accept peoples help... Because I want to prove I can do things myself. Even though I'm young. I need to prove myself to them. And... The last person I let help me... Was... Hughes..."

The answer completely shocked Roy. Because the teen was afraid of getting hurt, and abandoned? How could anyone with a heart abandon this boy? Or hurt him? '_Why is he afraid of that in the first place, I mean its not like... His father. His damn father. How could I not see it before? Ed says he hates him... And he probably does, but he says he's glad that bastards gone... But really, It hurt Ed. And now he's afraid. Damn Hohenheim.'__  
_

And _thats_ why he doesn't allow help? Because he wants to prove himself and what about Hughes? Then it dawned on Roy. Hughes was helping in the homunculus case...

"But what about me? Are you afraid of letting me close to me?"

Ed sighed, like he had been expecting this question. "I guess it's to late to stop you. It would just hurt me more to push you away now. You'll just have to prove to me that all father figures aren't like... like Hohenheim."

_'So I was right... It was Hohenheim. Damn bastard. But... Ed thinks of me as a father figure? I mean, it's not like I haven't thought of him as a... son for a while now... but to hear it out loud... makes me... happy?'_

Roy smiled again. Ed didn't know if he'd ever get used to a real genuine smile. "Looks like I will, and I can promise you that."

Ed smiled. And Roy couldn't help but think how cute the kid looked when he was smiling **(Not cute as in a yaoi way.)**. He never really smiles. He scowls and smirks... _'Damn. Guess I've been influencing him...' _But Roy couldn't help but have his infamous smirk appear at the thought. If Ed was influenced by him, that means Fullmetal looks up to Flame.

Roy couldn't help but think that he could get used to this, having Ed and himself be close. Like father and son. And now he understands. He understands Ed.

"Ed?"

The teen, who previously had his head down staring at his lap, perked up at hearing his name.

"Does this mean I understand now?"

Ed allowed a sad smile to appear upon his young features "Not even close."

"But can I?"

"I don't know if you can..." Ed spoke sadly

"But I can try."

**Chapter Three coming soon!  
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**QUESTION! How long should I make this Fanfic?**


	3. I'll Still Be Here For You

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**Disclaimer: I don't own FMA**

**Final Chapter of You Don't Understand is finally here! Thank you, all of you that have been reading this! This is rather short, but I hope it satisfies you!**

**Chapter Three:**

_I'll still be here for you_

The ebony haired man led them over to the couch, and placed the Fullmetal alchemist lap. Ed was of course, reluctant to be in his superior officers lap, but when he tried to move away, Roy simply tightened his grip on the small teen.

It was clear Ed would not be getting up soon. The blonde seemed to realize this and accepted it, for he placed his head on Roy's chest and wrapped his arms around the older mans waist.

Roy knew. Roy knew he would never understand. He has never been through the pain Edward has. He has never been through the hell that Ed has experienced.

No wonder Ed kept saying Roy couldn't understand. But even though the colonel has accepted that he wouldn't understand, he needed to promise the blonde something. Ed needed to knew this.

Roy spoke softly, in a tone he rarely used. But this seemed like a proper moment to speak in such a way. Who knew the next time he could hold Ed in his arms and talk to him like this?

"Ed?"

"Huh?" Came the reply, muffled by the colonel's uniform.

"I want you to know something."

"What is it?" Ed's voice had a child like curiosity. '_Because he still is a child...' _Roy reminded himself.

"I want you to know that..." There was a pause. Almost as if he didn't know what he was going to say. But Roy knew what he wanted to say. And he would say it.

"I want you to know that you're right." Roy could feel Ed about to ask for a clarification so he continued "You're right. I don't understand. But I'll still be here for you. Whenever you need me. If it's a shoulder to cry on, or simply because you need someone to hold you, I'm here."

And both alchemists remand silent after that last word left Roy's mouth. They both knew no more words were needed. So they continued to sit there, on the black leather couch, holding each other. A soft smile played on both of their lips.

They both knew... That they don't understand each other. And they probably never would. But, they would continue to be there for each other. They didn't need words to tell each other that. For, they both already knew.

_END._


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